I came to a conclusion the other day, I am Died... and have yet to realize it. In the movie 'Passengers' this is the theme and I am starting to think even if I was I still would have no idea, because I hide it from myself. Anything hidden is hidden, and every time you think you can find it you play a game with your mind acting as if it knew what to look for, when it is what hides it. The goal of the 'Ego' is seek and do not find. This is precisely what we do, even those of us that say we seek and we do find, for really to seek at all, is the game and it can not be won. Finding dose not involve seeking but only full openness. The word "Full" is tricky here because we want to so habitually to put a cap on our openness and say that some things are "not needed" to be said, ah the tricks of the mind to keep us in the cycles of a dog chasing its tale, some of us are lucky and have long tales, and ketch it. Yet few of us stop to think "am I really a dog?"

I can not really explain what I have been though or what I am really doing on this trip, it appears that my body is meeting others and conversing and teaching what I know and understand. But it is not the meaning of my journey, My journey is fully dedicated to that which is revealed to me. Even as Joseph Smith I went to Heavenly Father with all of my questions, I am sure you remember me asking many many questions. As a teen I started to ask above instead of in my mind or a book, or even you. As I laid in bed a very destink Audible voice that spoke with such certainty would answer my questions. This voice and another voice was trying to teach me, yet this other voice was not firm and certain, it was a voice that seemed to 'bounce around' allot or 'waver' even in its voice as if it was very inpatient and paranoid, but trying not to be. This other voice seemed to shout, and make choices out of fear of the other voice.

I would write down these short notes and answers I received from the firm voice. Then it said I could listen to him louder and stronger if I practice silencing the other 'Un-certain voice'. So when I was about 16 I began to meditate, on instruction of this voice. I learned to meditate from this source only. I would not sleep, but continue to communicate with this voice of certainty. At the time I had no idea I could use this voice in everyday life, as a "Guidance" nor did I try.

I was in fear of you and others would say as I claimed to be talking with the 'Holy Ghost'. I remained very active in the church reading the scripture and correlating the voice with then. Yet the greatest difference between the voice and scripture was that God condemned and then forgave in the scripture, and to the voice God loved us so much he never condemned and forgiven us instantly. This to me was a very big difference, this would mean no matter what happens, God excepts everyone back home. I to feel this way, a God of Un-conditional Love and acceptance, is free of all judgment and sees only our perfect holiness home with him.

I continued to follow the voice and my patriarchal blessing, for when they lined up and said the same thing, I knew I could do follow. I would read and find “Seek ye out of the best books words of wisdom.” and the voice would help me find them, leading me right to them at the store or on the internet. First it was books in the church, then also in other churches. It took me to Massage Therapy school where I met Ronna, and also found the energy healing. I decided not to restrict this voice for its guidance seemed to bring me to places where I learned and found more knowledge. I even became a 'Master' a prodigy of sorts in this healing, for I worked with this voice. Very quickly I learned the way of an open mind, not judging this voice, but trusting it. I started to say what this voice told me to say to people, some in which would reveal secrets or a way out of their situations, and pain. People started coming to me to receive 'answers' to their seeming troubles and problems. I would ask the voice and tell them what it said.

So long I hid this from the judgment of the family because I knew you all would say exactly what you are. The firm voice is my direct communication with the Holy Spirit, it guides me and leads me to realization of the Father. I had the 'dream' of the earth quake when I asked the voice about 2012, it showed me many things. Including myself walking and traveling around extending and teaching of the endless compassion and un-conditional love of the Father. The more I followed this voice, the more I had the "Daja vous”, they came from following the voice, the firm certain voice.

I do not wright this letter to you out of my own defense, but that for your knowledge of who I have become. In my patriarchal blessing it did mention that I would serve a full time mission in the field, as I saw myself traveling I realized this was what it spoke of. a service mission for what I understand as truth. I came to realize that in all religions there is a fundamental truth, a deeply rooted feeling and knowledge of a 'Divine' Father. In all religion you must search under their traditions and stories and get to the root. Surprisingly this root is the same in every every one. under ALL churches including LDS the truth sits very quietly speaking to you waiting for you to really truly desire truth. So many of us run in circles getting no where, because we think we know what we want. I want truth, and that is all. I can not say what Truth is, but only that it is the same everywhere for everyone.

I trust that even as it may appear to "lead me astray" I will arrive in a truth even the LDS church tries to hide with traditions and beliefs. I am following this voice above all scriptures and all teachers, its only desire for me is eternal and perfect happiness. It can not lead me to torment or pain, it can only show me what I am hiding from. I am confident that a Father of Love would understand that even if it was wrong, he let me go there and would be in the wrong as much as I. But if it was right, he would show me signs that tell me I am going the right way, as he has.

I am not concerned for the disasters of the world, because I am not of the world. I put the kingdom of heaven first (Luke 17:21 - Neither shall they say, Lo here! or, lo there! for, behold, the kingdom of God is WITHIN you.) and therefor all else is taken care of. I trust and have faith that no matter how scary it gets I was and never will be forsaken. I am sustained by the Love of God, and need nothing but the truth he offers me, in my following I choose to receive.

I am not a member of any church, but only that church of my truth with in. I understand the truth by my own personal experience, not by study of others experience. I will continue to follow, the voice of God and not get information from other sources. I do not argue with you, for it is impossible for me to prove this to you. If I am lead back to the LDS belief system, then I am open and will return. I will not return out of my own fear, or knowledge.
"I know who I am, I know Gods plan and I follow him in Faith."

I entered into the Kingdom of heaven, and have been sealed for eternity with God, as you are my brother I am sealed with you always, equally we are given the truth of the father and together we receive. I speak with often the father, and the son. I have been visited by Michael and Tyler also grandma Bernard and lucky. I never stray father then the love takes me. The path I walk is firm and straight as I am lead by the voice of certainty. I fear nothing as I trust the voice is my life.

Be open to a chance that maybe things are a little different then you think they are. You told me that the church was the only thing that ever really worked, and you never found anything that worked better. I have and it is with in the Kingdom.

I see the face of the Lord always, in everyone.
-Devan J. Byrne



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if you wonder what he said, here is his letter to me. with LDS or Mormon terms and references.
He wrote this letter FIRST, and the above was my responce back to him.

Dear Devan,

Devan, I’m sorry that it’s taken me so long to write, so, I’m just going to write from my heart. I’m also writing to Ronna because you both mean so much to me, your Mom and the rest of the family. Mom came home from Melina’s shower and what she was most excited about? A “hug” she got from Ronna and couldn’t quit talking about how wonderful it was to see and be with her again.

How are you doing my son? I hope that all is well, I am concerned about you and your travels. Son, if there is any way we can help you, please let us know.

I’m also concerned that either the flu and shots and the possible financial crash, etc., it could happen at any time. They seemed to have delayed it for some reason, but some thing is still going to happen one of these days, or they wouldn’t be making all the preparations – I hope you can make it home safely before something does happen. I still worry about you and Ronna and want the best for both of you and to help you in any way possible.

You know from your own dreams and visions that things are really going to get bad and no matter what we do – the things we see, are going to come about, otherwise they wouldn’t be a true dream or vision.

But what is really true, you and I have had a lot of "Daja vous” experiences where we can remember doing, being or seeing previously. I used to think that meant that I was doing what I was supposed to do. The Lord has taught me, through several not so pleasant experiences, that what I was doing wasn’t necessarily “right”, but that the Lord knew that I would do those things and they became a learning experience in our eternal progression. But it doesn’t mean what we are doing during the "Daja vous" is always in the right direction, just that we would make those choices and I had seen the results of my decisions.

As I get older, I have come to realize how important my lessons have been and how wrong I have been at times, thank goodness for repentance! Thus, why I had to write to Ronna and ask for her forgiveness. But it’s interesting to recall the "Daja vous" of working with you at Letter-Pops.

Devan you are having experiences – BUT YOU STILL HAVE TO FULFILL YOUR MAIN LIFE’S MISSION as stated in your patriarchal blessing.

I was impressed to read your blessing once again and found many special things stand out. First and foremost is how much Father-in-Heaven loves you, thus Ronna also.

On March 2, 1985 Brother May laid his hands on your head and under the direction of the Lord gave unto you the information that you needed to know to make it to the Celestial Kingdom, which is where Father wants you to end up.

Devan, I’ve always known that we had special “blood” and thought that it might have been from our heritage. Since then, the Lord has taught me differently. Because of events that have happened lately I now know it’s because of who we were in the pre-existence when we were with our Father and Mother in Heaven. Almost all major religions refer to two common events, the war in heaven, the flood and the ark.

The war in Heaven caused 1/3 of Father’s children to be cast down to earth where they would influence all mankind who have bodies to not accomplish their mission in life so they will end up as miserable as they are in the eternities. They even try to possess our bodies if they can, they still do that today. But, one of the ways they work the hardest is to try to “influence”, especially the “good” people of the earth, to believe that which is not true. For example, if we use the Bible as our guide, these spirits want to convince us to believe in concepts that aren’t true. Remember when our Baptist Minister friend Blake tried “share” with me why Mormons “aren’t Christian”. Both of our religions use the King James version of the Bible. He was reading from his computer various passages that, to him, showed there is just one God and not three separate beings as we believe. All the passages he quoted, fit with both his and my concepts of God and then he said: “He just wanted me to know why we weren’t Christian.” He thought that I should have been convinced of his view of one God. My next question to him was: “Is that all, what about some of the other scriptures???”

I then mentioned the baptism of Jesus and how he went down into the water with John and was baptized, afterward the Holy Ghost or the “Spirit of God descending like a dove” and ”lo a voice from heaven, saying, This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.”

Matthew 3:16-17
16 And Jesus, when he was baptized, went up straightway out of the water: and, lo, the heavens were opened unto him, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove, and lighting upon him:
17 And lo a voice from heaven, saying, This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.

I pointed out that is why we believe there are Three “separate” beings rather than the “Trinity” which is three being in one, since we believe what is written in the bible and there were definitely three separate beings mentioned in this one event, that is what we believe.

I then asked Blake about when Stephen was stoned to death and why there is once again three separate beings mentioned:

Acts 7:55-56
56But he, being full of the Holy Ghost, looked up steadfastly into heaven, and saw the glory of God, and Jesus standing on the right hand of God
56And said, Behold, I see the heavens opened, and the Son of man standing on the right hand of God.

He cut me of pretty quickly before I could bring up other examples such as after Christ was resurrected when Mary went to the tomb and Christ said that he hadn't ascended to Father yet:

John 20: 14-18
14 And when she had thus said, she turned herself back, and saw Jesus standing, and knew not that it was Jesus.
15 Jesus saith unto her, Woman, why weepest thou? whom seekest thou? She, supposing him to be the gardener, saith unto him, Sir, if thou have borne him hence, tell me where thou hast laid him, and I will take him away.
16 Jesus saith unto her, Mary. She turned herself, and saith unto him, Rabboni; which is to say, Master.
17 Jesus saith unto her, Touch me not; for I am not yet ascended to my Father: but go to my brethren, and say unto them, I ascend unto my Father, and your Father; and to my God, and your God.
18 Mary Magdalene came and told the disciples that she had seen the Lord, and that he had spoken these things unto her.

The Bible is just full of examples as to why we believe in three separate “Gods” rather in three beings in one God theory that was put forth in the Nicean Creed around 300 A.D. and is referred to as the Trinity.

What was interesting about that experience with Blake is that he was so shook up that he never tried to talk about religion to me again. As you know before that conversation he was always bringing up some religious topic and trying to show me why we were wrong. I had learned as a missionary, that it was never good to Bible bash, so I never confronted him on what he was saying, the event mentioned before was not confrontational, but he allowed me time to talk.

It has always amazed me that people claim to “have the truth” and don’t listen to the revelator of truth, the Holy Ghost. Blake knew that I was pointing out the truth, but he deliberately had to ignore what I had pointed out to him because he wanted to believe what he was taught rather than listen to the Holy Ghost and follow the truth. Why people claim to follow the Holy Ghost, then reject truth, I don’t know. Truth is truth and if the Holy Ghost only reveals truth, they must be getting information from a different source. If anyone will truly listen to the Holy Ghost they will be lead to the truth and to the restored gospel and the truths therein, any other teachings have many truths, but they unfortunately have some untruths that can deceive and mislead people. I’ve had many people during my many years of church service, both members and non-members, tell me that they have been guided by the spirit and then what they do, say, etc. shows that they believe in many untruths, so they are getting information from a different source. The Holy Ghost cannot lie or mislead, he is part of the Godhead and leads us to and teaches us only truth. Many good People are converted to the church because when they hear about three separate beings they already believe that and didn’t realize their church believed in the Trinity and they didn’t.

If we are not being lead to the truth, we are listening to some of the 1/3 of the hosts of heaven that were cast out. They also speak unto our spirits freely, but with the intent to destroy us in the end. You have heard me talk about how amazed I was that how many of the murderers say that they “heard a voice that told them to do it.” Most people don’t hear a voice telling them to kill someone, but most people are influenced by the fallen angels or even hear voices that mislead or deceive us concerning religion.

I’m also amazed by people who say the church is wrong and never read the Book of Mormon cover to cover, with the intent to really find out if it is really true. Blake said he read it twice, but one time told me that he didn’t believe it and read it just to be able to show his congregation why it was not true. With that approach, do you ever think that Father is going to let him know it is true? We need to read it, with real intent to know for ourselves whether or not it is true – lest we will be held responsible and be part of the force of Satan’s lies.

Well, Devan, back to your blessing. You were told that talks by your leaders and at General Conference “will guide you and help you to solve problems that are occurring in your life.”

You were blessed in that blessing with the following: “that the greatest event than (that) can ever happen to you in this life will occur...One day you will kneel at an alter in one of our Heavenly Father’s temples, and there clasp the hand of a young maiden of Zion who will love you very much. There you will be sealed for all time and eternity.” What a beautiful blessing, what a special and what a wonderful wife you have. Notice that it says “sealed” rather than “married”, a sealing is what is performed after you are married otherwise. What a great event it will be when the family can be with the two of you and after you are sealed, your precious Tyler will then be sealed to you for time and all eternity and we are told that the two of you will be able to finish raising him during the Millenium and be with him in the Celestial Kingdom.

Your Mom and I look forward to raising your Brother Michael.. Michael mission was to receive a body and then help us as a family from the other side of the veil, which he has many times. Tyler to has a mission to help your family these difficult last days, from the other side of the veil and he will. You will find that he will be a great blessing to all of you.

You are told you that you “will have seed, who will have seed.” This can only happen if you live so that you can go into the millennium, because of the events of these last days. It also means that you will have additional children to love and be close to the two of you.

Cody is getting married rather than go on a mission, which his Patriarchal Blessing says he would do. He and our Stake President took it all the way up to the First Presidency of the Church and was told that he would not be able to serve at this time. For a long time I felt that he wouldn’t be going on a mission at this time, I mentioned it to Mom, she got upset with what I felt and ask me not to say anything. After he was told by the Prophet that he couldn’t go yet, I explained to Cody (read more about it in the two papers I have attached) that we are told that during the call out into the wilderness that millions of non-members would come and would need to be taught the restored gospel. That is when he will have the opportunity to teach the gospel as an ordained “Missionary.” At this time “millions will be converted.”

Devan, that is the time when the Lord has also designated you to teach the gospel and be an ordained Missionary. You also will be responsible for converting thousands as you take over a blessing that was given to your Grandpa Barnard. “A mission that will help you, and you will be able to help many others, and touch the lives of many people.”

You can see that your blessing is true revelation, it just didn’t happen as you thought and expected it to happen when you first received it. Perhaps Ronna’s Patriarchal Blessing is the same way, what it says might come about in a different way than she expects! I have just recently understood some of mine, things that I thought would happen a certain way, didn’t and as I look back what happened was in full harmony with my blessing.

You are told that you have the “Gift of Balance: to be able to organize your affairs so that there will be a time for everything.” There will be times that “Lucifer” “will be...throwing his darts” of “temptations” and you will need to be “always on guard” and “carry the great shield of faith with you.” You are told you have the “Gift of Faith”.

I’ve always been awed that you were told what you would be doing to help others: “From time to time you will be able to create and to work with your hands...that will be helpful to others less fortunate than you.”

You were told that you would have “The Gift of Wisdom” and that “you will need to plant wonderful ideas into your mind.” and like your Mom’s blessing you need too: “Seek ye out of the best books words of wisdom.”

You are to: “Store up for a year’s time the necessary amount of food to sustain your family.” “You will also have the opportunity to teach these principles in different capacities in the different wards that you live in.” Sounds like you will be in a number of different church responsibilities.

Your blessing talks about you being involved with the Savior in the first “Resurrection of the Just to enjoy the Millennium.” and “you will be able to visit, from time to time, with the Savior face to face.” Wow, what a blessing. The Lord really does love you.

Devan let me share with you some other things about your blessing that you need to understand. Things that are not stated. I mentioned earlier in the letter that I “always knew that we had special “blood” and thought that it might of been from our heritage, since then the Lord has taught me differently. Because of events that have happened lately I now know it’s because of who we were in the pre-existence when we were with our Father and Mother in Heaven.” In the pre-existence there were those, for some reason, that were given special blessings and assignments of a special life’s mission. We are told that we will not be given the “Mechzedick Priesthood” unless we were given a blessing when we were still in the presence of our Father-in-Heaven that we would have that priesthood. We are told that we “Are a Marked Generation”.

“Make no mistake about it, you are a marked generation…There has never been more expected of the faithful in such a short period of time than there is of us.” “Never before on the face of this earth have the forces of evil and the forces of good been so well organized”…“The final outcome is certain—the forces of righteousness will finally win. But what remains to be seen is where each of us personally, now and in the future, will stand in this battle—and how tall will we stand?”…”While our generation will be comparable in wickedness to the days of Noah, when the Lord cleansed the earth by flood, there is a major difference this time: “God has saved for the final inning some of His strongest children who will help bear off the Kingdom triumphantly. For you are the generation that must be prepared to meet your God. We know not the day or the hour of His coming, but of this you may feel assured, you stand close to the great day of the Lord. In his words of modern revelation we say to you, seek the face of the Lord always. You live in the midst of economic, political and spiritual instability. When you see these signs, unmistakable evidences that His coming is nigh. Be not troubled, but stand in holy places and be not moved until the day of the Lord comes.” President Ezra Taft Benson, “‘You Are a Marked Generation” Ensign, Apr. 1987

Devan, your time will be coming to shine, but right know you have to go through a lot of experiences and be trained by the Lord – and GET READY, but YOUR TIME IS COMING.

Now for the bad news, you have to go through a lot of crap to get ready. Things like not being a part of things, rejection, people disliking you and on and on. Because of who you are from the pre-existence and the blessings you received you have to go through a lot of unpleasant things that really is your own personal plan the Lord has for getting you ready for your mission and the Celestial Kingdom, as an end result. One of my favorite people is Enoch, he brought a huge group of people to perfection and they and their land were all take up from this wicked world. But when the Lord first called him, he questioned the Lord because he was “slow of speech” and the people “hated him.” Christ taught that we are suppose to love our enemies and pray for them who dispitefully use you, why? Because part of their earthly assignment is to help perfect the special pre-existence individuals by trying and testing them. They are actually doing us a favor and blessing us, they really are thinking they are harming us, but just the opposite is true. They help us see how we have to improve and what we need to perfect to obtain the Celestial kingdom.

Devan, I don’t know what your life's mission is, but I know that you don’t seem to know who you really are and that because of who you were in the pre-existence, I know you have a great “life’s mission”, and that you need to prepare for it. I wish that you did know who you really were, but I do know your wife and future family need you. Ronna has a special life’s mission also and needs to also get a glimpse of the great spirit she was in the pre-existence is also, she will also be receiving great joy in fulfilling her life’s mission and in the family she will be having. She’s going to be such a wonderful mother. Tyler will be there at times to help your family and show you his love for all of you. Ronna is going to be a special blessing to her side of the family.

I’ll never forget the amazement I had when we were listening to the lady who had near death experiences. She was telling us about the earthquakes she saw that are going to happen in the future and then you took over the conversation and were telling all about it and she was confirming what you said was correct. Do you remember that? You had seen a vision years before that showed the earth opening up in the Salt Lake Valley and the spaghetti bowl coming down, etc. I had no idea that you had that kind of a dream. I was really impressed.

Very seldom do the righteous who have those types of visions end up being part of the vision, they seem to be more of a warning that if they don’t repent and be righteous and go into tent cities, this is part of what will happen to you and your family and others who don’t go to the wilderness. There is four and 1/2 pages of quotes from the scriptures and prophets about the call out (going into the wilderness, tent cities) in the attachment that I have included, a lot of great information there.

Devan I have expressed to you before that I feel that you have a special mission to perform in the wilderness with your family as you meet the requirements of the Lord to be worthy to go there and then into the wilderness. There are a lot of beliefs of other religions, but I have come to know that the Bible and the restored scriptures are true and will lead us to fulfill our life's mission and get us back to the Celestial Kingdom.

It’s my prayer, as with all of you kids, that Father will be with you and that you will remember what you have been taught and that the Holy Ghost will be with you to continue to teach you truth. I pray that Satan's angels will be stayed in your behalf that they will not be able to teach you partial truths and mislead you with their cunningness.

Son, I love you, we need you back with the family, we need Ronna back with the family, you both mean a lot to us. I ask your forgiveness for the many things I have done and said wrong all these many years, including the things I wrote Ronna about. I have a lot of respect for both you and Ronna and I love both of you and miss both of you. Ronna needs you back as a working husband, did Mom tell you that I am a Missionary at the employment center above Deseret Industries in Provo – I’m being trained and perhaps can help you get a job. There is a lot more resources available, more than I ever imagined there could be - a great help to you. Let us know if you need help getting home for Cody’s wedding.

P.S. I’m attaching three items to this email – an e-mail I’m sending to Ronna and two compilations (PDF’s) of information that I have gathered together from the scriptures about the last days and according to prophecy, that I am giving to the family. Look at all the scriptures about the Lord taking us into the wilderness.

This is a letter to my family, only a week before I told my family a little about what I was doing. I had received that I would not be making it back for my brothers wedding, this is my explanation in their terms (LDS/Mormon) of what I am doing.

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Hello Family,

I am here in Canada after a week of being here. I would like to be completely honest about what I am to share with you today. What I am here for, is a 'Spiritual study' that I have been involved with for over a year and a half. With out giving the long story, I am very deeply involved with a book called 'A Course in Miracles'. It is a spiritual study that teaches 'mind watching' assisting us to here the holy ghost deeper and more profoundly. Where the Holy ghost's guidance is a everyday/ hour guidance, everything thing I do is to clear my mind to receiving the promptings of the spirit, leading me my own personal way back to heavenly father.

I understand that everyone would like to tell me how I should live, and how I should 'listen' to the holy ghost, I understand what the scriptures say, and I am learning to live that way. You can think of it like a pilgrimage, or a way of a monk, but my life is now to live completely of guidance from the spirit. I have not just had the 'burning in the bosom' but Daily confirmations that what I am doing if the path to truth. I have been Hiding my spiritual life from all of you for some time, as of last sunday, as you know I could no longer hide. I trust that all of you will understand that what I am doing is truly what I feel is right for me now. If I am guided by the spirit to come back to the church, you bet I will.

I have the desire to express my many experiences of knowing this is the way for me, yet with so many I will share the one I had the other day.
out here around the lake there are not many lights and the stars at night shine brightly. I went in preyer as I looks at the sky and asked for a sign that I should be here and am doing the right thing. that second I saw a shooting star. Just like that many times everyday, my path is confirmed. I understand that many of you will like a say in what I feel is guidance, but understand I am putting the guidance of the spirit above all others opinions, thou I am open.

I was in fear when I realized guidance would conflict with Cody's wedding, I felt guilt that said I must go and make it to the wedding. guilt and fear is not guidance, from the holy ghost. over this week I realized that I was fighting the guidance and saying I must make it back. As the miracles keep coming in, I see that following guidance is the most important thing, not just for me but for everyone. I understand the anger or sadness that comes up as I tell you all this, fear and anger is not of God, or the heavenly trinity. To act on or out of fear is not the holy ghost. So clearly I say, I feel at this time, I will not be back for the wedding, thou I do believe I will be shortly after.

My goal here is Peace, Love and Joy. I believe this is God's will for me, and all of us. He wants us to be perfectly Happy, perfectly at peace, and always in Love as Jesus was. If guidance leeds me to a place or a way that is not alined with any of these, I desern that it must not be Gods will, but another.

I trust you all understand that I am leaping with faith into my guidance, trusting it is the Holy Spirit. I will keep you all updated, as far as I feel guided to do so. Thank you everyone, for everything you have done for me. The plan for me now is to follow guidance, and when it tells me to come see you all, I will.

For truth, the divine is the truth that is ultimate. The divine peace is a peace that is everlasting, unwavering and available endlessly to all that desire there of. Our ideas a so stretched from the divine truth, great determination is necessary in braking through our old beliefs systems, resisting our truth, resisting our divine peace of God.

I have had many people ask me "What kind of 'Peace' are you looking for?" I reply with " All peace" they then reply with telling me to get to a christian church and get saved. I tell them I believe there is a Peace that I can uptain in this very moment. "You get saved and you will have eternal peace in heaven with Jesus" "Well then I am saved, for heaven is here, Heaven is now". "This! This is not Heaven, nor will there ever be Heaven on Earth!" "No, you are right there is no heaven on earth, thou heaven is available beyond this earth. The peace I am looking for is Divine, in every way of life, unwavering and unchanging." "Well you gana be searching for along time, cuz you cant find it here" "Yes, I will not find it here on earth, but that in which I am is not of this world it is in peace with god, and any Ideas I have that I am in a different position or place must there for be illusionary for as I am in heaven now I must be lost from knowing myself. Which is my goal, to find myself, in eternal peace with God." "Well I am just saying get yourself to Christian church and your see." "Ok great Thank You! I will keep that in mind, my Friend."

The Body of Devan has appeared to move from Hanover Canada to Hamilton, Past Niagara to Buffalo then Rochester, now on the way to Albany. As We started this journey, out of pride I did not allow myself to use the options which I would trade money for, I give up my pride and continue with trust. On the bus to Albany NY as guidance told me the best way this morning. I trust that even if it is not my way 'by foot' I still am doing what I should do for eternity.

I realized last night as I reminist of my day, That not just a few moments of dajavou but the entier day way a dajavou, all lived befor, all seen and known. Every person I met I recanized, and every place I went was no more interesting then thinking of old memories as a child. Nothing in the day was a saprise, as I lived in the way of the heart. As if all of my life was preparing me for this moment, as thou this moment was the only moment I needed. The present of God is in my hands as I find this moment. Being this moment. What is there to fear, when you remember it all, and you remember well.

I surrender. I no longer desire my personal gain, my personal fame. I give everything I have to you father, everything I have asked for, I have received. I desire nothing of my wishes any more, but that you wish for me. I except that perfect happiness you desire for me. I except the perfect love you hold for me. I wish nothing more, as I have been wishing for much less, now I am ready.

You have given me so many dreams, so many desires, wile I have denied the gift you wish for me. I turn it down and ask for others. when I realized all that your gift was not I realized there is no substitute for the limitless love and edgeless peace you extend to me.

For such a long time I hid away and behind your blessings I asked for. Under the pain I wished for myself. Today I find my desire for your will for me. I give you the gifts you have given, I use all that I once had to remembering your perfect will. What would you have of me father? what would I say to come to they will? Where shall I stand when I receive the grace you still offer me?

I found myself to be very painful today, I dwell in my sorrow as I lost my way. I opened the door to you and found only grief and pain. I do not see how this will lead to your will for me father. How should I know what way to turn when the darkness covers every corner? what light comes to me when its only pain I see? Are you even there to help me?

I found today that I must forgive my sins away. The hopeless Idea that I can be something I hoped for more. Father I wonder how I could, If I stood in the position to do so. I found thee, and rather dramatically I arose in pain that I thought I washed away. Here today I forgive my pains away, I allow you to use them for my day. to bring me up and fly away.

I forgive myself for being me, I forgive the idea I had of my gifts for me. I asked and asked, I did receive. I got carried away and found myself forgetting I am where I wanted to be. Today I remember father and Declare once more, I am here for thee, as you were here for me.

I was blind to the fact that your Love was more then enough, there is nothing that I have gained, are made that out dose that gift you wait for me to receive. I come to thee on my knees offering all my dreams in exchange for your perfect safety and Love. I look no longer away from your kingdom, I no longer blind my vision with the sight of the world. Today I forgive myself for failing you, Today I let go of my petty miserable goals for myself.

I realized a day is a measurement I made. I found in my forgiveness today, I was given it. I found today the things I fuss and cry about, are not what they seem. Have the things I wished for, ever been given? or do I just hide under the idea of the gifts. Father am I not away? Father is it I pray, because I am with you? Could I be home with you, and always have been? could I be lying to see everything I am not?

Could this set me free?

The abstract of the being which God is, is extreme to the being I understand. As I dedicate my life to the understanding, I will see the dedication to me. For the world I know reflects my mind. A symbol of my devotion will shine, as I shine with my devotion. As I cry the universe will cry, a witness to the tears I share. As I see joy I must to be joyful, for I see nothing that my mind has not reflected.

My relationship with my brothers are my symbol of relationship with my father. as I connect with them, more fully am I connecting with my father. I embrace all as I would love to be embraced. I share with all as I would love to be shared with. I Kiss and Hug all for God is my expression and Love is my name. Join with me and come to truth for Love is the answer to the sorrow of darkness. the light is here where it always has been. jump with me to find there was nothing to fear, but your fear to be loved.

How silly is it to fear love, when love is what you wish. Fear your desire, is desiring to fear. embrace your fear for embracing in love, and fear can not survive in loves presence. Then will you be embraced with the true love just beyond. The love the you search for is every case. The love you miss when your wondering where to kiss. Every aspect is your love, under your doing there is your being. being with the father as you are his son.

When something beyond sight is strong it will seen unstable. When something brave is beyond feeling it will seem wavering. When something so good is miss understood it will seem very unwholesome. To say there is any trust in the vail that covers it, is to blind yourself from knowing it exists, yet admitting it is something that chooses veiling. Unveil the beauty in fear and find true love. unveil the light in colorless and find joy, unveil the finding in the search and find peace where it always has been.

where it always has been is finding yourself, the joy of knowing there is nothing to find is why yourself is undefinable, yet what you are is the limitless undefined as it is found it is forever unknown. only awareness can be grasped, only grasping can loose, find the perfect wave and you have found the perfect stillness of the storm. for in the storm is the answer to your life, within your fear is your greatest joy. fear keeps you safe, safe from knowing who you are. Face the death and embrace life for that is all there will ever be. Trust your fear to show you where to find light, the darkness is only trying to hide it, as you wished for it to do. Trust your fear for it shows you exactly where your great potential is hidden. Darkness is only the vail of light, it is nothing. As you pass it through your realize the truth in the 'seeming tearer' for the truth was only knowing who you are.

Trust the fear, for it is used by your guide. Trust your sorrow for it is hiding your light. Trust your pain for true pleasure is its goal for you. you can count on it to remain dependable. Tell that One day the unveiling will be done, and honesty of self will be done. Finding it could have never been won with out the ‘Enemy' to play the game.

Everywhere I go I go in mind, everything I do I do in mind, everyone I see I see in mind. A dreamer dancing with himself in a cloud of endless potential in the mind that creates it all for him the thought that he is. Made as beautifully and he thought of the smoothness of love, the joy he fills his mind with is the endless job of the peace of god to be that which he has made. Expanding that truth of its being to know the rest of himself as himself, to be all that he is.

everyone can only remember that which he was always to be. Already there, already safe in the peace and potential of the infinite divine love of truth. washed by the knowledge that always was, filled with the peace that allows itself to know there is only that which it always was, the Mind in which it wonders. Borderless is the walls of its truth, as every moment flows around its own peaceful thoughts. Being and living in it self, as it wishes to be. but never more then it always was.

A life I have lived searching everywhere, beyond the corners of darkness.Truth of you is enough to understand life beyond the feeling of peace we gain in a success of our making. Truth of you is beyond all that I am, I give it all to you. All that I have, All that I am I surrender to the mercy of your truth, I am here to be the expression of your truth. I except with all that you have given, I know I am to pass it all to the truth that is I am yours and I need nothing but that which sustains me, your everlasting eternal Love. It holds me in my trembles, it fills me in my stutters. Your Love I trade for with everything I am, was or could have ever come to be. The gifts I asked for, and have received, is nothing as I perceive the gift you wait for me to receive.

Here in this clear empty moment I perceive the un-perceivable the choice I made to be away from this moment, I washed my self of divine perfection. I embrace the trust in you as I come to the moment I am with you the instant I release is the instant I and aware of your embrace that has held me in every moment. I have choicen to be lost, now I choice to be found, Father, as I and only I find my self, with you one with you, right now.

The ego seems to work on making plans for everything, in every moment. A plan for this week a plan for this day, a perfect plan in finishing this sentence. A plan that would work the greatest for its happiness. constantly planning for the moment it will soon be happy. "If it goes just as I have planned, I will be happy". Planning to be Happy, for planning to plan is not enough when happiness is your goal. Blind to the fact that when it finishes one plan, the goal is still in another plan. "The next plan will work, the next plan is perfect. There is nothing that could go wrong with the plan I have mastered."

Can Happiness be planned for? With a goal of happiness that is said to be at the end, happiness is not the goal. A goal of Happiness is the plan to leave plans behind. The joy is the plan to be the plan as you are being it. To write the book as you live it, to Love the path as you make it. The joy is not only in the journey, the joy is realizing you have wrote a book on a life that in every moment you forgot that you are the ultimate planner, the planner that is not planned to be the plan only the joy planning to not plan takes you.

The book of a single page that is read in many ways, a repeating joyous page of forgetting the book. Free to read it in anyway you wish, flying over the words as if it was a reality that flows into a deep portion in mind to find there was only one word on the one page in the one book, the word that penetrates through your empty feelings lifting your sky to a place where silence is the word of god and joy is the voice of that word. Peace is its flow of eternal expression, flying under and thought everyone single moment to find there is only one, one word the word you live by, the word you live for, the only word there is to word, where all other 'words' are extensions of filling in the blank space where this word is forgotten. If you had only one goal it would be to remember this word for this word is everything, everything you ever strived for, and joy will be the proof of the words spontaneous revelation.

As you make this word your goal, remember the word is not in the goal, or the planning to find the goal. The word is beyond the goal, beyond the plan, beyond the journey. the word is that which allows you to journey, the word is that which allows you to write the book. The Word is only that which exists, this word is the word of God, the word is you.