It is not a matter of if I am here or Not, it is WHY do I BELIEVE I am.
Scribed by Rev. Devan Jesse Byrne on Monday, October 26, 2009
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If there is no Body, what is the urge for Sex?
If there is no Body, What is the urge for food?
The idea here was deeply relieved as I was in the hot tub. I have been 'healing' my ideas of a body and the appropriateness of wearing anything in the tub. As I was meditating in the water nude, many ideas flood though my mind like water over the edge. As I tune in and center myself on God, the thoughts change from a scattered mess, to a seeming firm narrow flow of thoughts. They are not constant, but only when the silence is interrupted by a still craved desire. Usually in the form of a question, yet these questions always point me to a state where the mind is still and silent. It is easy to grab on to the thoughts and seemingly fall out of awareness of the divine. Yet has I listen to the questions arise from my subconscious and listen also to the answer the same way, the detachment of the situation allows the spirit to deflect my 'ideas' into being still. This is a bit of an idea how this last happened wile I was in the hot tub.
I was looking up at the tree above me, and my body flouting in the still water. A thought of the star above me and a desire to make it move come over me. The answer was not how, or what to do but simply 'there is no star' I quickly understood that my desier for the star to move was not a desire for the star to move, it was only the desire to be in a world separate from me. Before I got in the tub I was touched by the thought of David H. reached to people spending money, someone said "well david is so out there, there is no world" Which I knew in many experiences and intellectually, but do I know it fully I am willing to question. Back in the Hot tub the voice began to speak with everything my mind seemed to lay on, 'there is no tree, there is no water, there is no tub, there is no sky, there is no body, there is no sensations, there is no air, there is no world" "You only are, and believe your a body, you only are, and believe you are in a world" As i listened the walls of my seeming world were neatly laying down. I had no fear at all about this, for I have realized this before but I saw I was not in a body, I was not in a world, I was not in space, nor time I was NoWhere. I only saw that I simply believed that I was. I simply believed that I was a body, I simply believed that I was in the world, and that is all, I only believed it.
I then asked as I noticed who I really was was not here, "If I am not a body then what is the desire for sex?" I know this as the misinterpreted miracle urge, but what does that really mean. Well If I am seeming to desier sex, and I am not a body or in the world, what am I desiring? If I am at home with god right now, what is the desier for sex? I mean really, I don't want the bullshit answers where you give me course quotes. as I came back to focus on god, "you desire nothing" If I want food? "you want nothing" if I am doing something? "you do nothing" for I I do is a game of my mind. So no there is no world that god or you created, wile it seems to be yes, but in reality you do nothing. As if We choose to be blank in reality, wile we choose to conceive in this world.
So now the question really was not, If I am not a body then what is the desire for sex? but it was If I am not a body then what is the desire for form? the desire for illusions? the desire for meaninglessness? If there is no world why does it feel to complete me.
then the question is what do I NOT desire of reality, that i think i could gain here?
Now the question is, Why do I believe it and that is the split desier.
in reality there is no split, but then why does it seem to be so???
If there is no world, what is the urge to get out?
(Did not finish, posting it anyway)
If there is no Body, what is the urge for Sex?
If there is no Body, What is the urge for food?
The idea here was deeply relieved as I was in the hot tub. I have been 'healing' my ideas of a body and the appropriateness of wearing anything in the tub. As I was meditating in the water nude, many ideas flood though my mind like water over the edge. As I tune in and center myself on God, the thoughts change from a scattered mess, to a seeming firm narrow flow of thoughts. They are not constant, but only when the silence is interrupted by a still craved desire. Usually in the form of a question, yet these questions always point me to a state where the mind is still and silent. It is easy to grab on to the thoughts and seemingly fall out of awareness of the divine. Yet has I listen to the questions arise from my subconscious and listen also to the answer the same way, the detachment of the situation allows the spirit to deflect my 'ideas' into being still. This is a bit of an idea how this last happened wile I was in the hot tub.
I was looking up at the tree above me, and my body flouting in the still water. A thought of the star above me and a desire to make it move come over me. The answer was not how, or what to do but simply 'there is no star' I quickly understood that my desier for the star to move was not a desire for the star to move, it was only the desire to be in a world separate from me. Before I got in the tub I was touched by the thought of David H. reached to people spending money, someone said "well david is so out there, there is no world" Which I knew in many experiences and intellectually, but do I know it fully I am willing to question. Back in the Hot tub the voice began to speak with everything my mind seemed to lay on, 'there is no tree, there is no water, there is no tub, there is no sky, there is no body, there is no sensations, there is no air, there is no world" "You only are, and believe your a body, you only are, and believe you are in a world" As i listened the walls of my seeming world were neatly laying down. I had no fear at all about this, for I have realized this before but I saw I was not in a body, I was not in a world, I was not in space, nor time I was NoWhere. I only saw that I simply believed that I was. I simply believed that I was a body, I simply believed that I was in the world, and that is all, I only believed it.
I then asked as I noticed who I really was was not here, "If I am not a body then what is the desire for sex?" I know this as the misinterpreted miracle urge, but what does that really mean. Well If I am seeming to desier sex, and I am not a body or in the world, what am I desiring? If I am at home with god right now, what is the desier for sex? I mean really, I don't want the bullshit answers where you give me course quotes. as I came back to focus on god, "you desire nothing" If I want food? "you want nothing" if I am doing something? "you do nothing" for I I do is a game of my mind. So no there is no world that god or you created, wile it seems to be yes, but in reality you do nothing. As if We choose to be blank in reality, wile we choose to conceive in this world.
So now the question really was not, If I am not a body then what is the desire for sex? but it was If I am not a body then what is the desire for form? the desire for illusions? the desire for meaninglessness? If there is no world why does it feel to complete me.
then the question is what do I NOT desire of reality, that i think i could gain here?
Now the question is, Why do I believe it and that is the split desier.
in reality there is no split, but then why does it seem to be so???
If there is no world, what is the urge to get out?
(Did not finish, posting it anyway)
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